How To Change Your Story To FEAR So You Can Go After What You Want
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Life is not about being fearless
I’ve seen (and at times have lived by) the quote “be fearless.”
But here's the thing, the decisions in life that are going to bring us to where we truly want to be will bring fear. It will be uncomfortable.
I know… probably not what you wanted to hear right. #sorrynotsorry?
Because at the end of the day when something feels scary or when something feels uncomfortable… it means you are leveling up.
It means you are taking a chance on something you know you want.
It means you are doing something out of your comfortable, safe zone... which always leads to growth.
Fear is going to be there when we are creating change. Being uncomfortable is going to be there when we are creating change.
So it isn’t about waiting for those things to go away… it’s about learning to create a RELATIONSHIP with them.
Learning how to welcome it, see it for what it is, and being able to move WITH IT rather than letting it hold us back from taking the action.
The reason so many of us stay stuck is because we have decided to live by the expectation of being fearless and holding onto the story saying discomfort is wrong.
But these stories and expectations that we CHOOSE to create around fear and discomfort is what’s ultimately holding us back… not the fear or the discomfort itself.
One of the most empowering and life changing things I’ve learned is that we have the power to change our stories. Because once we shift these stories and expectations to better serve us, we can start taking more action.
I’ve really learned to lean into the idea (and have shifted my story to include the idea) that discomfort and the ups and the downs and the fears… they are all part of life. That as long as I am feeling those things, then I know I am growing, learning, and becoming/leaning into the truest version of me. I am getting closer to living out a life that feels even more fulfilling.
Because when I look back at my life, some of my BEST and greatest moments have come from moving WITH my fear, from getting super, super, SUPER uncomfortable.
Things like spontaneously moving to Colorado... then Utah so I could live in the mountains, where I feel most alive.
Learning to pick up activities like mountain biking, rock climbing, and skiing so I could play in said mountains.
Ending relationships that were not serving me and taking chances on beginning new ones that could.
Riding my bike across the entire country with people I had never met before to learn more about myself and what I actually wanted from life.
Quitting my desk job (after quitting and starting several other desk jobs over the past 5 years) to finally go all in on my dream business that I built from scratch.
Giving up things like drinking and wearing makeup to learn how to be myself without the crutches, without the masks.
Being vulnerable to build deeper connections.
Diving deeper into my personal growth to finally learn how to feel fully enough.
And investing thousands of dollars into myself and my future (while still working towards paying off 5 figures of student loan debt) in order to figure out and pursue what lights me up.
NONE OF THESE THINGS WERE COMFORTABLE. None of them happened WITHOUT fear. None of them happened at the “right” or “perfect” time. Things didn’t always go to plan. Things didn’t always pan out the way I wanted.
But I always learned something, I always grew… sometimes something even more miraculous was revealed at the end of a long road. And at the end of the day, each scary decision brought me closer to ME… the most authentic, most expressed ME. It brought me closer to the life I wanted to be living. One that feels exciting, raw, and fulfilling.
I think it gets so easy to look at people online, at people who are doing the things we would love to do, living lives that we would love to live. And we think “damn, they must have been fearless…” or “things must have worked out perfectly for them.”
But the more I take chances on myself, on my happiness, on my future… the more I’ve realized that these people I’ve looked up to were not fearless. They’ve just learned to make it a part of their story and not let it hold them back.
The more we make friends with fear, the more it changes. The “easier” the next steps get because we’ve built up the evidence of “see, I can take a chance on myself, on my dreams and make it through… whether or not it goes to plan.”
So what are you holding yourself back from? What do you deeply, deeply want to do with your life but you’re waiting until you’re fearless or for the right time to do it?
Life is so short. Each day can bring so many new and exciting opportunities if we let it.
Stop holding yourself back. Life the live you know you deserve. The one that lights up your soul.
