I keep hearing the words “be your most authentic self.” I’ve said things like, “own your truth,” or “be your best self.” But what does that mean?
I wanted to break down this word “authentic” and what it means to truly live out that word. Because if you can discover how to live YOUR authentic life, defined by YOU.. you will be able to live a life that feels so in alignment with your soul. One that you know in your gut that you were supposed to live.
Authentic is defined as: undisputed origin; genuine.
Genuine is defined as: truly what something is said to be; authentic.
Undisputed is defined as: not disputed or called into question; accepted.
True is defined as: in accordance with fact or reality.
All of these words give an unwavering sense of “groundedness” … a deep, solid knowing. A connection to what is.
So does being authentic, living a life authentic to you, and embracing your truth mean that you have an unwavering groundedness, a solid knowing and connection to yourself? To what you want? To who you are at the core? To what makes you feel alive and happy and free and connected? That YOU set the rules for your life.. free of harsh internal and external expectations? That the facts and reality about YOU aren’t defined by someone else. That they are defined by you. That you have found an internal and all consuming acceptance with who you are?
I think so.
So what is preventing the majority of us from feeling this way? From truly living authentically? Why are we so confused about what this word means and how to live it?
I truly think it comes from this constant external pressure of having to be a certain way. These pressures of following the cookie cutter path. Of being afraid of failure and not being good enough, of not being seen as “put together.” I think it is this world of perfection seeking and the deep, deep desire to be accepted and deemed worthy.
We are told how to dress, what our bodies should look like and how to achieve those bodies. We are told what to eat and to not trust our cravings and our brains telling us what to eat. We are told to adapt a specific style of living in order to achieve happiness.
We are told to have this kind of job and this kind of lifestyle. That we have to be making 6 figures. That we have to have the cookie cutter house and family and to be debt free.
We are told to buy this kind of makeup and these kinds of clothes and to do this specific routine.
We are told to avoid showing any sign vulnerability because otherwise you are weak and incapable.
We crave the pictures and perfection being created as we scroll through our newsfeed leaving us desiring a life that someone else is living and going down a rabbit hole of comparison.
We are told to prepare for and live for the future and left feeling unsatisfied with the present. We are constantly after “when I get ____ I will be happy.”
We are told not to trust ourselves and our intuition because it could lead us away from all of the above. And god forbid you don’t fit in that mold.. Because otherwise you are labeled as weird, or different, or ungrateful, or bad, or un lady like, or less like a man.
It is a no wonder we don’t know what living authentically means.
It is no wonder we are left confused and constantly seeking this “happiness” that we think everyone else has seem to have found.
So let me ask you this: What would it feel like to let go of it all.
The internal and external expectations, the should and the have to’s. The failures, the not good enoughness, the comparison, the validation, the worthiness, the perfection. What would it feel like to just let it all go. What would it feel like to sit with yourself and your thoughts. To find everything internally. To sit with your feelings and to know that all of your feelings, no matter what they are, are good and okay? What if you got curious? What if you asked yourself hard questions knowing that there was no wrong or right answers, just information.
What was the last thing you did that lit a fire in your belly? That gave you butterflies? That make your face hurt from smiling so much? Why?
What made you feel not so great? What made your heart hurt? What made you sad? What made you angry? What are you afraid of? Why?
What do YOUR dreams look like? What makes you feel so alive and motivated and excited? REGARDLESS OF EXPECTATIONS or “shoulds” or “buts” or “inappropriateness” or money or any of those fear things.
What beliefs are you holding on to? Which ones are TRUE to your definition? Which ones are you choosing to believe? Which ones can you release? Which ones can you redefine? Which ones can you add?
What expectations can you change? What can you redefine? What can you dream up? What seems impossible? Can you switch the mindset around it? Can you take just one little baby step?
What FEELS GOOD? What FEELS BAD?
Who are you relying on to tell you your next step? Can you do that for yourself?
What can you let go of?
What can you add more of?
Start noticing how you can reshape your days, your weeks, your life to reflect the things that feel true and good to YOU.
To reflect the things that make you feel grounded. Alive. Real. To reflect the things that make your belly light on freaken fire. Because you can choose all of these things. You can be the director of your life. You can remove the fears from the driver's seat of your life. We don’t HAVE to do anything. We can just be. We CAN live a life that feels good and resonate and AUTHENTIC. No one knows you better than you know yourself. So why rely on anyone else to tell you how to live??
Does this mean that comparison and sadness and emotions and disconnection and all of these aspects of being HUMAN won’t happen? Absolutely not. BUT what I think it does mean is that when these hard life things happen, we can deal with it and trust ourselves to do so. That at the end of the day we are still making decisions that ultimately feel resonate and good and solid and grounded to us. That our we trust ourselves enough to follow our intuition and to take chances on ourselves and our dreams. That at the end of the day we still know ourselves. That we still know what it is we desire out of this life. That it comes from our internal knowing. That WE define all of these things. That we CHOOSE all of these things ourselves.
So how can you reshape your thoughts and actions to reflect YOUR authentic self?
If it helps, here is a permission slip to do so. Because we NEED your truth. We NEED your words and your thoughts and your actions and your dreams. This world desperately needs it. Be you. Embrace you.