*squeezes stomach fat”
“Your abs are weak sauce”
*stands back to examine legs*
“Jeez you have such thunder thighs, so disgusting
“Okay I am going to get back on track tomorrow..
No sweets.. I am going to be stronger
Work out every single day this week, no excuses.. You have no excuses
I am going to be better, I have to be better.
I just need to lose 10 lbs. Just get to the goal weight how hard can that be. Just stop being so lazy, stop being so weak. Gosh you’re so weak.”
My hardest, worst critic.
That mirror hated me. It hated every piece of me. Every skin cell, every misplaced hair, every imperfect lash. It hated it all. I was never enough. I always needed to be fixed.
And no matter how hard I tried, no matter how hard I worked there was no meal plan or exercise routine or mantra that would ever change those deep, deep wounds.
I was simply unworthy.
Unworthy of love, unworthy of acceptance, unworthy of living out my dreams, unworthy of money.. Of it all.
That damn mirror...
Mirrors are a crazy thing. They only reflect back our external selves and yet from that image we walk away feeling like we just had the air smacked out of us. Left feeling broken and not enough. We take that simple, beautiful reflection of our human bodies, the vessel we were given to live life on this earth with and shatter it all over the ground.
And while we crave connection and love and acceptance… we deny those things from ourselves. We create turmoil and destruction and distrust and hatred and rejection in and towards our OWN bodies…
We decide that we can’t be happy until that mirror somehow reflects the freedom we are so desperately seeking.
But what if it wasn’t that damn mirror..
What if we could create everything we craved internally? What if we could give ourselves the love and acceptance we search for outside of ourselves? What we could work on shifting our core, core beliefs to “I am worthy, I am enough?” What if we didn’t rely on ANYTHING external, not a meal plan or a workout routine or a significant other or that damn mirror to tell us these things?
Think about how freeing that would be..
We cannot shame and hate our way to anything. Our body is always communicating to us. Our body wants to create that connection internally.
Our bodies are so smart.
What would it feel like to finally stop denying them? To finally stop berating ourselves? To let go of letting our external world decide how we should feel, how we should exist, how we should live?
To just surrender. To set yourself free.
It’s not the mirror.
It is me. It is you. It is us. It is our core beliefs that dictate our worth, our freedom.
You are enough. You are worthy. You are incredible. What would it do for your happiness, for your life to finally start believing that?