Letting Go of "Should" and Living the Life You Desire.
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This blog post is going to be a tad different this week. I am going to be posting my worksheet, "6 Steps to Letting Go of What You 'Should' Be Doing and How to Identify and Make Time for Your Truest Desires in Life." You can follow along by either journaling or printing out the worksheet here. Enjoy!!
What is it in life that makes you feel so alive, so happy,so excited to be living and breathing right at this very moment? Are you living your life with this in mind? When was the last time you felt like that?
Sometimes it seems life gets so busy that there are moments where we forget what it is that makes us excited to be on this earth. We get so caught up in the motions, so wrapped up in what everyone else wants us to be doing, or what we “should” be doing, or what we don’t have time to be doing.. That we end up not acting out on the things that make us feel so alive, so happy, so full of life. In putting ourselves on the back burner we aren’t presenting our best selves to the world, and that is preventing us from living our best lives, from being totally connected to what we deeply desire from this life.
Has anyone ever told you a dream you had “wasn’t practical, ” that your goals in life were “unrealistic, ” that you would fail, and doing something “out of the norm” wasn’t a “safe” path, that you would be judged?
For a long time, I put off the things I really wanted to do for those reasons. But the things that people tell us are impossible or unrealistic are usually the things our truest self really wants to experience, they are usually the answers to fully living and experiencing this amazing life. When we push away our truest desires, we are telling ourselves that these things are not possible for us and that we should choose something more along the lines of “safe” but when we only get one chance on this earth, why settle for mediocre?!
In order to look past the safety net through to the things we are actually craving, we have to sit down and get verryyy clear on the things that make us the happiest and what we really want out of this precious life.
Which is why I have created this workbook. These 6 steps will help shed some light on what it is that you truly want from this life and will give you some clarity on how to move forward towards living that life. So, print off the following pages, grab a cup of coffee, your favorite pen, and get your “anything is possible” hat on. It is time to start making these desires a reality.
What am I grateful for?
I find this question puts me in a good heart space. It will help you identify the things in your life at this very moment that you can be grateful for.
I am grateful for:
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What makes ME truly happy - what makes me excited to be alive?
This can be as simple or as grand as you want: A cup of coffee early in the morning and watching the sun come up. Running around the lake. Baking. Traveling to new countries, don’t hold back here. This next ask might be hard for some of you (it was hard for me), but put down things that truly make YOU happy, not things that SHOULD make you happy. You’re not being selfish here.. I promise.
The things that make me most excited to be alive are:
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What are MY life dreams and goals?
What are YOUR actual goals and dreams here - not what SHOULD be your goals and dreams - again you are not being selfish to list out your deepest desires. You are ALLOWED to want the things you want. I give full permission to not hold back on any of these. What if there were no limitations, that absolutely anything was possible. That failure, judgment, or “lack of” was not a thing.. That everything was an option.
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Take your two lists from above and circle three things in each category : three things that make you happy and three dreams that you have for yourself.
List them out here in order of most important to you.
After you list out your goals/dreams, pick a REALISTIC end date that you want to focus on to accomplish those goals and write that date next to each of your goals/dreams. This may seem difficult and it doesn’t have to be 100% accurate but by putting a date next to it, it makes it an actual possibility in your mind rather than just a thought.
Take a look at your two lists above. Have I been working towards any of these things? Or have I been putting them off?
Take some time now to identify the blockers, reasons, and/or fears for why you haven’t been acting out on the things that make you happy (Think: Lack of time? Putting others needs before your own?) and /or why you have been putting off your dreams (Think: Lack of money? Lack of skill? Afraid of failure?) .
If you have been taking any steps towards incorporating these things in your life, identify those things here.
Take a look at both of your charts above. Which list is longer? How do you feel about that? Are there any patterns you can recognize? Does anything stand out to you? Take a minute to reflect your thoughts below:
Taking a look at all of your work: What small changes or steps in your life can you take on a daily, weekly, monthly basis to start incorporating the things that make you the happiest and to start working towards your life goals and dreams.
Again, this can be simple and start with one from each category to focus on. If your dream is to go on a backpacking trip but you have a lack of funds to do so, a daily thing could be to put one dollar away in a jar or say a mantra everyday to help create a new mindset. Get creative. And believe in yourself. What if you couldn’t go wrong? (Ahem.. not letting those fears drive the bus here).
Extra Notes:
Changing the way we view life and what is possible with that life is the difference between living one that everyone else wants us to live vs one that we have always wanted to live.
We get one life, friends. One precious, amazingly beautiful, spectacular life. So take full advantage of it and go for what you have always dreamed of. Make decisions that will make YOU happy. Because everything does work out. You are going to be okay. Trust yourself.
One final quote to stick in your back pocket because Henry David Thoreau says it exactly:
“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have always imagined.”
